Disappointment and Frustration

I can't help but blog about this, even though I'm sure everyone is sick of hearing about the election.  Don't read on then, because I need to vent.  Right now, I have to say that I'm beyond disappointed.   I'm disappointed in every state I've ever called home.  I'm disappointed in the election results.  I'm disappointed in the way elections work.  Etc, etc.

Sometimes I feel like it's not even worth voting in the Presidential election.  What's the point?  A few states decide the outcome anyway (adding up to a small percentage of the overall population), and California always goes Democrat.  Who came up with this electoral college voting process anyway?  Seems kind of antiquated to me.  Not that I know much about politics, and not that I want to.  Why not just do a popular vote?  I think more people would be motivated to vote if they new their vote counted for something.

So here's what I think.  Mr. President, as soon as you pay as much taxes as I do, then maybe I'll respect some of your views on taxes. You pay approximately 20.5% of your income in taxes -- according to one report -- I pay close to 45%.  AND you make a heck of a lot more money than I do.  That means I work for around 5 months of the year just to pay state and federal taxes.  I think I'm being robbed.  So here's what I'll do: work less -- which means that I'll make less, but so will you because I'll pay less in taxes.  Also, it means that I'll work less to support your ridiculous health care plan.

Speaking of the health care plan, already my patients are paying more for their health insurance than they originally were.  Why?  Because their employers are seeing the writing on the wall and going for skinnier plans.  Defeating the purpose aren't we?  More people may get insurance... maybe... but they'll pay more for what they get and less will be covered.  You are brilliant, aren't you?  Yeah, right!  Have you ever thought about asking doctors what they think of the plan.  I doubt it.  Because a lot of us don't support it.

There's much more I could say if I really wanted to think about it, but I don't. So here's a sum total... The economy sucks, the job market sucks, the housing market sucks (including the value of my house), the health care plan sucks, government sucks, the trillions of dollars of debt sucks, and likely the next 4 years will suck as much as the last 4 have.  I guess we'll all have to wait 4 years to repair the damage done to our county -- if by then it can be repaired.

Insomniac

I think I remember a time in my life when I used to sleep well.  As far as I know, I think that  sleep still came pretty easily through college and maybe even through my first years of medical school.  I remember when my old roommate would suffer from insomnia, and I just couldn't understand how that could happen.

Maybe it was when my sleep started to be interrupted by overnight call that my nights and days started to get mixed up.  Who knows.  But now, sleep doesn't come easily, it certainly doesn't last long, it's very interrupted, and I often see the sun come up.  

But I like to blame my mother.  I'd often thought that I perfected the art of being quiet when getting ready for bed.  Flush the toilet downstairs.  Run the faucet super slow, and leave it running, no on and off stuff.  Turn on as few lights as possible and only after shutting the door without a sound... All this only to be told that I woke her up getting ready for bed.  Just another way I'm turning out like my mother.  (Not all bad.)

Well, I've tried everything.  I sleep with earplugs (this helps, but takes some getting used to).  I tried sleeping with eye shades, since the littlest bit of light wakes me, but this is more annoying than anything else.  Benadryl gives a hangover in the morning, and often doesn't help with sleep anyway.  Melatonin seems to help sometimes, but others seems to not make any difference.  There's not a whole lot of evidence behind it that it really works either.  Ambien definitely works, but is addicting.  And the rebound insomnia is a bitch.

And yes, I've done all the "sleep hygiene" stuff, like go to bed on time, avoid caffeine, don't exercise too close to bed time, don't watch TV bed, etc.

So I'm left with poor sleep and blaming my mother.  But if anyone has any brilliant ideas, I'm willing try about anything.  

Been There Done That

These days I have a lot of people ask me if I still ride my bike.  The short answer is yes, I do.  But as cross training, once, maybe twice, a week.

In 2005, I got my first road bike.  I had endured a small amount of ridicule (all in good fun) from a friend and colleague for my black Schwinn mountian bike (which probably weighed a good 25 lbs and which I rode only on the road).  I also endured a mild amount of embarrassment on my own part which drove me to ride at times on Saturday when I would not run into the real cyclists riding through Grand Terrace.  I didn't want to be seen riding my slow mountain bike on the road, wearing my black rollerblade helmet, and my spandex shorts complete with cotton t-shirt.  I was a true "Fred"!

Anyway, I got my Giant in the spring of 2005 and of course I wanted to ride this new beauty.  My running went to the wayside.  Soon the said friend mentioned above, learned that I was riding, and riding a lot.  He invited me to join him out in Claremont to ride and before you know it, I was a part of the best team ever out of Coates Cyclery.  And I was bitten by the cycling bug. 

The Coates Team was fun.  I rode with them until 2008 when I was pressured to switch to Team Penta.  A great mistake.  I look back on the years of riding with Bud, Steve, Bill, Corey and others with great sentiment.  We had our typical Carbon Canyon Ride, complete with a stop at Starbucks on the way back to the shop.  (Someday I want to head out with those guys and do that ride again for oldtimes sake.)  Many other rides were spent riding up GMR or up Azusa Canyon and East Fork, maybe heading down GMR or over to Mount Baldy.  I must say I didn't mind being the only female member of the team.  In fact, I didn't need or really want any other female teammates!  I liked being the only one.  Those guys were awesome.

Well, as most people know, my cycling "career" began to wind down when I broke my collarbone in 2008 ending up with surgery and plating.  I got back on the bike in 2009 and hit a couple of races but never really felt comfortable with it.  I got a taste of the mountain bike, but this soon ended in August of 2010 with a broken femur and surgery with rod placement.  And this was the end of my cycling as I knew it. 

Not that I mind.  Cycling was fun while it lasted.  But in truth, many a ride (not with Coates guys of course) I couldn't wait to end.  It got boring sitting on a bike for hours on end.  Your butt starts hurting, you get hungry, and the scenery starts to all look the same.  (Not to mention, every week the rides are the same.)  And then when it was over, I felt like half my day was wasted.  I could and can get a better workout in, in a shorter period of time, running.   I don't get bored with running, unless it's toward the end of training for a marathon, when I just want to get to it and do the marathon already!  I see things while I run that I didn't notice before (instead of just paying attention to the wheel in front of you).  I can let my mind wander while I run, and can work all kinds of things out during those miles.  I rarely feel hungry while running, and can even head out for shorter runs on an empty stomach.  (I eat before longer runs because I know it's smart for energy.)  My heart rate is always up.  I get that good tired feeling.  It puts me in a better mood.  Even with less workout time, I'm in better shape.  And I get the runners high. 

So I'm back to my former passion of running.  Something I've done for almost 20 years; I think I started running for the first time in 1993.  And what's more I have way more time.  The time spent riding basically would be equal to constantly training for a marathon.  Now I have time for all kinds of other things.  Gardening, reading, and even taking a photography class.  My work schedule doesn't stress me out as much.  In fact, I'm not as stressed out in general.  I have more time for family and friends.  And I even run enough that a half marathon sounds like an easy distance.  Last fall, I was able to train for another marathon and am eager to do more in the future.

So I've been there and done that -- the cycling thing that is.  I'm back to being a runner.  It makes me happy and I'm going to stick with it as long as I can.  It inspires me.  I run because that's what I am, a runner.

Lacking

Blogging isn't the only thing that's been lacking lately.  There's a lack of time...  Really, what happens to it?  Just when it seems I might have some, it seems like there's even less.  There's a lack of sleep.  Probably having something to do with the lack of time.  The first thing to go when you need more time, is to cut down on sleep.  There's also a lack of money.  Definitely having something to do with a neverending Foundation Renovation and the contractor who's taken all our money.  And a renovation which also has something to do with the lack of blogging, time and sleep.  The only thing that hasn't been lacking is stress (the root of which is the renovation), work (the root of which is the renovation), and dirt (the root of which is the renovation).  So, "Hallelujah!", 3 1/2 months later,  the renovation is almost done.  Now, hopefully, the stress will be lacking, work will be lacking, and dirt will be lacking.  (Okay, the dirt isn't going anywhere, but at least we're making some progress in cleaning it up.)  And, at last, the blogging will pick up again, time will be more plentiful, sleep will be deep, and money can be saved for the next project.  And a word of advice: don't do a foundation renovation if you don't have to; it costs a lot, makes a big mess, and there's not much to show off in the end.

It only got messier from here.

Avoiding the Inevitable

Every year, I get the flu shot.  Not so much because I want to, but more because I have to in my line of work.  I'm not sure if I would actually NOT get it if I weren't already coerced into getting it; but I'm too afraid to find out if I would get sick more often or worse during the winter season than I already do.  So, as usual, this year I got the flu shot.  Unfortunately, it was the day my trusty nurse, Linda, decided to be out of the office, and her replacement viciously attacked my deltoid with the needle.  Needless to say, it hurt to move my arm in any direction for at least 3 days.  So was it really worth it?

Before we even arrived in Michigan last week, we were hearing reports of mass illnesses.  Christmas Eve, all three of my older brothers boys and my sister-in-law got the stomach flu.  Of course, this was only after the Christmas Eve dinner everyone attended.  Subsequently, two of the boys also got a cold.  My younger brother and his wife also had bad colds including a hacking cough.  And his daughter had a double ear infection.  My parents seemed okay until our family Christmas party two days after Christmas, when my dad got the flu.  Then Matt and Ryder bit the dust two days later.  Meanwhile, back at home, it seems the plague had hit many a family, as we were hearing about multiple illnesses here too.  My sister's family seems to have escaped it all, but the jury is still out on that one.  And my mom and I went to brillant lengths trying to avoid the bugs. 

But it was all for naught, because on the flight home my nose started to itch.  At first I blamed the 2 dogs near me on the plane as I am universally allergic to them.  (Yes, I said dogs!  Should that really be allowed?  But anyway, that's another rant.)  It was only wishful thinking.  Soon the runny nose started.  Then the itchy throat.  Then the pounding headache, swollen nasal passages, and cough.  Ughhh. 

So is the flu shot working?  I guess maybe it's not meant to protect against the common cold, but if I have to get it, I expect it to protect me against everything.  And will I get it again?  I suppose so, because I hate to think of what I might get if I didn't.  So go get your flu shot!  Maybe if all the germ carriers out there got it, the rest of us wouldn't get sick too....

Kitties

We have two new additions to our family.  Actually, it was three but the coyotes struck early and fast and the three quickly became only two. See, we had a little ground squirrel problem last summer, and decided that when all else had failed, that cats would do the job.   Matt's parents have a Cat Lady as a neighbor.  She takes in every stray cat who crosses her front door.  Well, go figure, stray cats aren't fixed and one of her mama cats gave birth to babies next to Steve and Cindy's garage.  Of course, all babies are cute, and Matt's mom couldn't bare to let them succumb to the elements, and those three little kittens became ours.  Two females and a male.

These three little kittens were ferrel and couldn't be contained, of course.  We tried to hold them in the cellar for a bit, just to keep them close to the house.  The male made a run for it, and we didn't see him for a couple of days.  We had Ryder hiking over to the neighbors to look for the him; Ryder was so worried. Next thing I know, I see the female kittens playing in the front yard.  They had found their way out of the holes made by the ground squirrels around the foundation of the cellar.  So, we had Ghost (named by Ryder) and Black heart (the name Matt blessed his kitten with because she had a black heart on her left paw).  And unnamed kittie because I couldn't come up with a name for a good 2 months.

Well, after about a month, Black Heart disappeared over night.  We searched everywhere, but were afraid that our worst fears were true.  But don't tell Rydie about the coyotes, he keeps asking when Black Heart is going to come back.  We don't have the heart to tell him the truth.  Black Heart was a sweet, playful kitten. Her favorite toy was a ball with a bell inside.  She was also the first kitten to let me pet her.  Here's one of her first and only pictures:

Ghost is a lover.  Especially when he knows he's going to get fed.  He now lets me pick him up, purrs like a motor, and follows me everywhere.  I sometimes want to call him "Piggie" because he attacks food like he'll never eat again, and wouldn't share with his sister if he could.  He's almost twice the size of her.  He's also really sneaky.  Even if I try to back in the front door to keep him out, he's sometimes able to sneak into the house -- then it's good luck catching him to get him back out.  The easiest way is to lure him out with (what else) food.

Boo, Ghost's sister, finally gained her name well after Halloween.  She partly got her name because Ghost and Boo sounds pretty cute.  But mostly because she runs if you say "boo" to her.  She more than a little skittish, but I'm still able to capture her once in a while (mostly if she's distracted eating), and she tolerates my affections pretty well.  In spite of the fact that she's a scaredy cat (no pun intended), she's super social.  She too follows me everywhere, and likes to sit outside of every door where she can see inside and check out what's going on.  She not bad at sneaking in the house either, but is easier to scare her away from the door when you're heading inside.

Even Matt's getting attatched to them and thinks they're pretty cool.  He is a little worried though, recently they like to play and wrestle a lot.  It's starting to look a little suspicious.  Next project is going to be bringing them to the vet for a little "fixing up."  Wouldn't want a few more kittens come spring.

It's an Apple World

I grew up in a PC family.  From the first Kaypro we had when I was in elementry school (which I know was not considered a PC) to the advent of the IBM computer and Microsoft, my family was PC all the way.  My dad was our first wiz at computers; and I could only hope to type as fast as him someday.  And my brother became a computer geek (a computer software engineer) and now has a computer museum of sorts (yes, the Kaypro still exists).  Apple or Mac was always a dirty word, and one would never even consider buying one.

I remember when, in my first year of college, the internet and email first came out.  (Yes, I know I'm dating myself!)  Computers had been a part of my life for years up until then, but other than using it to type the occassional term paper, I didn't use them much.  I even learned to type on a good old typewriter.  I didn't know what to do with the internet, and back then there wasn't much you could do with it.  And email seemed useless to me -- obviously I was wrong -- but then I still have a love-hate relationship with it.  The first computer I bought was a Gateway, which also doesn't exist anymore.  And I've owned two Dell laptops after that.

Okay, okay, I'll get to the point.  I never would have considered a Mac computer either (it was ingrained in me) until the iPhone came out.  I got one in 2008 and fell in love with it.  For over 2 years, I've endured Matt making fun of the iPhone.  I considered getting a Mac laptop, but was convinced not to (much to my regret as I've dealt with my annoyingly slow Dell laptop for the last 2 years).  But then, that all changed when I bought the iPad 2 last spring.  Of course, I got the usual harassment from my man... that is, until he used it and then I rarely saw it anymore.  Now, we signed up for our AT&T Family Plan, and Matt is getting his iPhone 4S.  And 4 days ago, we became the proud new owners of an iMac.  It's a beautiful machine.

Oh, how things change.  We're a Mac family now.  I just hope that my dad and brother don't disown me.